Saturday, April 20, 2013

Hiatus - Contemplative Practice that Leads to the Edge

"Suddenly Star Wars came out while we were on hiatus,and we looked like the old Buck Rogers series,
where they had cigarette smoke blowing out the back of the rocket ship." ~ Gregory Harrison

I've been on hiatus these past two weeks.  I am sitting on my bum writing my Personal Statement Essay for graduate school.  I'm focusing on my story which always send me into a panic.  I've done some research finding out how others have approached it.  It is a piece or conversation that lets people know who I am after they look at my portfolio.

The Personal Statement Essay is about my journey that is leading to the next threshold.  

My Wild Woman Project group talked about using the energy that is at the edge.   I think of The Fool who is about to take the leap.  This leap is fearful and perhaps dangerous, but looking at this face, The Fool is smiling without a care.  He appears to have the same blind faith like those X-Gamers.  I'm trying to harness that "stomach ache" and "run the other way" feeling and use it to help write my essay.  

One of the questions I've been pondering is why do I want to go to graduate school.  I think it comes down to Nettie's questions to me: 1) What is my life's purpose?  Answer: To help people and make the world a better place.  2) Have you ever thought about doing it another way?  Answer: No.  Why not?

This week I've been sitting like the rest of America post Boston Marathon.  I look at the faces of these two young men and ask: Why?  Why choose violence to get your point across?  And, what is the point that you think that violence is the only way?  Did you ever think about doing it another way?

They could have run and worn T-Shirts showing their cause.  They could have been like Peace Pilgrim at the end of the Rose Parade with her sign; the beginning of her peace walk across the US.  They could have written letters to the editor, written letters to their political representatives...  The could have joint human rights watch; volunteered at the UN.  But, violence?

I ask myself what was my part in their decision?  Where did I fail in listening and having a welcoming heart that someone had to resort to violence to get my attention? 

As a CCWWW, I believe we all are connected like blood.  We are all dependent on each other plants and animal and us humans.  And, even though I didn't know those young men, I come in contact with many people daily.  I ask myself: How do I treat them?  How do I treat those who look homeless on the street?  How do I treat those with an accent that makes me listen harder?  How do I treat..