tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post6224442078477672966..comments2023-10-28T07:47:00.144-07:00Comments on Spirit Stitch: Denaturing Domestic, Dating and Sexual ViolenceHomelighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15021804922034488307noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-10590603172985820082012-02-27T10:43:03.868-08:002012-02-27T10:43:03.868-08:00Madame Molly:
Thank you for your comment. You ar...Madame Molly:<br /><br />Thank you for your comment. You are correct in stating that there are male victims of sexual, domestic and dating violence. I thought I tried to keep my comments gender neutral (e.g., he/she and the use of Chris in my example). Barbara’s story was my catalysis into this work. Since coming into this work, people feel comfortable telling me their stories. And, both men and women have shared their stories with me. Violence doesn’t know any gender. <br />What the research shows is numbing.<br />1. Based on the recent US National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (2010): Who are the victims? 1 in 5 women will have been raped in their lifetime while 1 in 71 men will have been raped in their lifetime. 1 in 6 women have been stalked in their lifetime and 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking in their lifetime. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner. <br />2. Based on the recent US National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (2010): The majority of this victimization starts early in life: Approximately 80% of female victims experience their first rape before the age of 25 (30% between 11-17 years old and 12% at or before the age of 10). 28% of male victims of rape were first rape when they were 10 or younger.<br />3. Based on the recent US National Intimate Partner Violence Survey (2010): Who are the perpetrators? Across all types of violence, the majority of female and male victims reported experiencing violence from one perpetrator. The majority of female victims reported that their perpetrator were males. Male rape victims and male victims of non-contact unwanted sexual experience reported predominantly male perpetrators. And, nearly half of the stalking victimization against males was also perpetrated by males. Perpetrators of other forms of violence against males were mostly females. <br />My Summary and Belief: Violence is a misuse of power. Violence hurts men and women, families and communities. In my view, violence hurts both the perpetrator and the victim.<br /><br />What I’m trying to do in my work is end the violence before it starts. Thus denaturing this behavior before it escalates. I am inviting others to help. <br />There are many activities everyone can do based on your comfort level:<br />a. Say it, Claim it, stop it…… I wrote about above.<br />b. Be an example by showing how to model healthy respectful relationships.<br />c. With the recent Penn State crime against young boys: If you are involved with any youth serving organizations make sure policies and practices are set in place to protect all children by making adults accountable for their behavior. See Stewards of Children – they have model policies. What I like about this group is the concept that adults are accountable for other adults. Children should never go around telling their story over and over. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts also have great model policies.<br />d. If no one is listening – as at Penn State – pick up the phone and call 911 (US). If getting involved in a “fight” will put you at risk of injury – call 911 (US). <br />e. Educate yourself: <br />• www.vetoviolence.com<br />• Love is Respect – teen dating violence quizzes and games<br />• Net Cetera – internet safety quizzes and games<br />• Stewards of Children<br />• Take a parenting class<br />• Green Dot<br />• Learn how to be an upstanderHomelighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15021804922034488307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-46317176369808435042012-02-26T18:46:50.919-08:002012-02-26T18:46:50.919-08:00Great post!! Remember abuse also happens to men an...Great post!! Remember abuse also happens to men and boys... I've heard sooo many women make statements about men that would be considered harassing and sexually exploitative if said about females. <br /><br />I have also known several men who were physically abused and were usually the ones to get arrested when the cops showed up because the abusive woman turned on the water works...Madame Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15063938087874366933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-32912384505241566622012-02-21T14:14:29.819-08:002012-02-21T14:14:29.819-08:00Based on the many conversations - I think that the...Based on the many conversations - I think that there are many oppressive issues that need to be denatured in order to establish a better world.Homelighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15021804922034488307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-53844855305555773512012-02-19T12:22:17.364-08:002012-02-19T12:22:17.364-08:00Great post! I'm thankful to you and others lik...Great post! I'm thankful to you and others like you for dragging these issues into the light so that women can be safe.Harzgeisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05223928699363530531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-26666555727827757512012-02-18T10:20:31.848-08:002012-02-18T10:20:31.848-08:00Amazing post! I have to admit the squish in this c...Amazing post! I have to admit the squish in this cancer is coming out I have a few tears.. thank you for this post.. :)LexxWriteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13536071066137232932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8385784515134062729.post-23644924693794591942012-02-18T08:17:21.849-08:002012-02-18T08:17:21.849-08:00Thank you for this post and your work on these iss...Thank you for this post and your work on these issues. I think working in a magical context to denature the structure a really powerful addition to the tool box.Kat of EmKatCreationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01162943067947155558noreply@blogger.com