Reviving the Tiger Ritual

Katsushika Hokusai, Woodblock print, 1849

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”  - Judy Blume, Tiger Eyes 

"So this is what I will do. I will gather together my past and look. I will see a thing that has already happened. the pain that cut my spirit loose. I will hold that pain in my hand until it becomes hard and shiny, more clear. And then my fierceness can come back, my golden side, my black side. I will use this sharp pain to penetrate my daughter's tough skin and cut her tiger spirit loose. She will fight me, because this is the nature of two tigers. But I will win and giver her my spirit, because this is the way a mother loves her daughter." - Amy Tan, Joy Luck Club

"But the tigers come at night/ With their voices soft as thunder/ As they tear your hope apart/ As they turn your dream to shame"  Susan Boyle singing Britain's Got Talent  "I dreamed a dreamed."

~~~

As you have been reading, I devoted these past four weeks studying aspects of the tiger power.  Motherfather Spirit kept presenting me with one thing that zaps my tiger power: my inner critic.  I declare myself a strong woman, but I too, have an inner critic that gives me comments about my unworthiness and not-enoughness and my imperfections.  I've been on several "list serves"  and I realized I'm not alone.  Others have their own inner critic and it functions in the same way: zapping our tiger power. 

In her book, Tiger's Wife, Tea Obreht describes the tigers in the zoo.  Bombs are exploding in an unnamed Balkan city, noise and the underlying fear causes stress to animals.  The caged tigers begin eating their young and one gnaws away at his leg until it is becomes gangrene.  There have been points in my life that I have allowed my inner critic to consume my tiger power.  My inner critic knows my weak points: not a good mother; a mother should be at home; only being able to have one child; art work that is rejected, my career is in a public health issue that will never stop (violence prevention).  And then there is society and the media that echo my critic...  During these times, I've walked into my work cubicle to hide or have sat in front of the television--staring unable to work, to create, to make.  I become like Obreht's tiger eating my creations before they can grow up. 

Intellectually, I know that this voice isn't truthful and works out of fear or wanting to keep me safe. 

Susan Boyle

This tiger study has also allowed me to recognize that I must have a bag of magic tricks to stop the inner critic.  Mine includes poems, songs, inspiration youtube videos that tell the critic "haa haa. take that."  One of my favorites is watching Susan Boyle's Britian's Got Talent audition.  She boldly walks onto the stage facing an audience that is under the "Mirror Mirror on the Wall Spell."  Susan is a middle aged woman with streaks of gray hair; who by the way she talks and appears looks like she didn't have any talent.  The (spell bound) cynical audience laughed at her comments.  But, when she opened her mouth to sing; there was a dramatic change.  "I know what they were thinking, but why should it matter as long as I can sing? It's not a beauty contest."  Susan Boyle told The Sunday Times.  She had her tiger spirit on that day.  It inspires mine.  

Music has always shook up my inner critic.  Singing songs while twirling, dancing, and acting out the lyrics... the voice gets drowned out.  


Artual
Create your own magic bag to build up your tiger spirit.  The following are on my play list.

Ode to Joy - Flash mob 
Beethoven

Talkin' bout a Revolution
Tracy Chapman

MOANA song "I Am Moana" (Song of the Ancestors)
Auli'i Cravalho

Rise Up
Andra Day

Girl On Fire
Alicia Keys

Sunny Side of Street
Billy Holliday “Lady Day”

One Love 
Bob Marley

Defying Gravity - Wicked
Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

Taming the Tiger
Joni Mitchel

Roar        

• Katy Perry
• • • 
      
  • Look What We've Become
  • • Grace Potter
    • • • • 
            
        • • I Ain’t Down Yet - Unsinkable Molly Brown
          • Debbie Reynolds
          • • 
              
        • • Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA World Cup™ Song)
          • • Shakira
            • • 
                
      • Mother Within
      • • Tina Turner 

A Gaelic Blessing 
John Rutter

All Things Bright and Beautiful (Makes me think of my Grandmother) John Rutter

Oppressing the Tiger

Queen Mother of the West; earthenware,
Han Dynasty

"Nobody knows her beginning or her end" the Zhuang.



“She was a hurt animal- a tiger willing to destroy the whole jungle to get a thorn out of its paw. And he knew she would destroy him, too, if he got in her way.” Kit Alloway, Dreamfire.




“Such an angry little Kitten, with such sad eyes. Who hurt you, Georgia? Who took the light out of those pretty blue eyes, ehh?” Lesley Jones, The Story of Us






In her essay about Xi Wangmu, Max Dashu describes the attempt to strip the goddess of her power. Courtly writers during the Han dynasty airbrushed her tiger looks. They transformed a strong goddess with wild hair, tiger teeth and a tail into a young demure aristocratic woman whose agency came from finding a “prince.” Powerful men perceived that Xi Wangmu had been assigned too much governance in weaving the universe. When the public didn’t buy these changes, officials stated that Xi Wangmu was a slut who preyed on men to build up her power (Chi). She lured men into her peach garden with promises of immorality and zapped them.       

Propaganda has power. By the late Ming dynasty, the public believed the new stories told about Xi Wangmu. She became a minor character in her narratives. Her tiger power attributes were re-assigned to another goddess. Xi Wangmu's Seventh Night Festival welcoming fall now emphasized the weaver girl’s quest to find a husband. Xi Wangmu became an enduring Auntie or Godmother who assisted the weaver girl's journey and she became an intercessor assisting unmarried women find husbands. 

Aunt Jennifer's Tigers
by Adrienne Rich (1929 - 2012)

Aunt Jennifer's tigers prance across a screen,
Bright topaz denizens of a world of green.
They do not fear the men beneath the tree;
They pace in sleek chivalric certainty.

Aunt Jennifer's finger fluttering through her wool
Find even the ivory needle hard to pull.
The massive weight of Uncle's wedding band
Sits heavily upon Aunt Jennifer's hand.

When Aunt is dead, her terrified hands will lie
Still ringed with ordeals she was mastered by.
The tigers in the panel that she made
Will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.

Eleanor Roosevelt statue at 72nd and Riverside Drive, NY, NY

by Penelope Jencks. 1996.

Photo by Katherine Weber, hat by Jessica Brockington,

This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of the women's marches. This year I headed south to Cincinnati for rehearsal. I am part of an Ohio V-Day (Vagina Monologue) production. I'll be reading my #Metoo poem. The women in my production are diverse in age, sexual orientation, single versus married, race and culture. We are a group of women who have written stories and poems around the theme of "what it means being a woman." It is a narrative on how to rise up.

Many of our stories are similar to Adrienne Rich's poem or the backlash Eleanor Roosevelt received for choosing to activate her power. This Ohio V-day program will have stories about how our tiger spirit has been taken away. There will be stories telling how women have been caged into spaces and how women have used self-blame for things others did to us. These V-Day stories also offer hope. They cultivate self-compassion and compassion towards other women. They narrate how to stop the blame game and how to listen with an open heart and offer empathy to other women.  And, how to become a sister.    


Artual: (Art plus ritual) a phrase coined by Whitney Freya

Homelights definition is: Anything you do or make is creating, and ultimately is Art. When you connect art with ritual it becomes Artual.

Weeping Tiger Salad

Grilled Steak Marinade:

Juice of 2 limes
1/8 ground coriander
1/8 red pepper
1/8 ground ginger
1/4 cup of soy sauce

Mix together marinade.  Marinate steaks for 30 minutes.  Grill both sides of steaks until done.

Salad dressing:

1 Tbsp: Vegetarian or non-fish fish sauce substitute: "In a saucepan, simmer 3 cups of water, 1/4 ounce of shiitake mushrooms, 3 Tbsp of salt, and 2 Tbs of soy sauce over medium heat until reduced by half. Strain, cool, and store in refrigerator for up to three weeks" Cooks Illustrated.

Juice from 2 limes
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 Thai chili chopped finely (I put mine in the food processor)
1/8 tsp of ground coriander 
splash of olive oil

Mix salad dressing together and toss salad.  Serve the grilled steak on the side.   

Tiger's Stripes: Joy and Grief

Tiger 虎 Japanese, Edo period, 1830 (Bunsei 13/Tenpô 1),
1st month Artist Utagawa Kunisada I (Toyokuni III),
Japanese, 1786–1864, Woodblock print (surimono);
ink and color on paper

“We have to embrace obstacles to reach the next stage of joy.”  Goldie Hawn

“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” Helen Keller

“And I'm taming the tiger/(You can't tame the tiger)/Tiger,tiger burning bright/Nice, kitty kitty/Tiger, tiger burning bright” SongwriterJoni Mitchel (1998)

It happened again.  I received another: “Thank you for your submission.  We really enjoyed reading it, but we aren’t going to publish it (written in a nicer tone).  Please send us more.”  It is the eight time for this short story about grief, neighborhood rumors and mis-perceptions.  I sat staring at the e-mail for at least several minutes with my “magic eight ball.”  My heart is all weepy and the self-critic in her high voice saying:  “I told you this was going to happen.”  

I immediately silence her with:  “Is it worth trying to find a literary magazine or just self-publish?”   It is a question I've been mulling over lately before sharing my creations.  She doesn’t have an answer. 

Himalayan tiger panel sold by Loft House, Austin ,TX

Dance with the Tiger

Songwriters: John Stewart and Rosanne Cash

In every woman and man lies the seed of the fear
Of just how alone are all who live here
Denying the fear is the name of the game
To stare at the fear is going insane
Forgiving the fear is one up on Cane
Is to dance with the tiger
And laugh at the rain

Don't give me your life, I have one of my own
It was a brilliant idea inventing the home
Creatures of habit, American fools
Reaching for stars while we're standing on stools
Letting it go is jumping the train
Is to dance with the tiger
Letting it go though we won't be the same
Is to dance with the tiger
Letting it go is the name of the game
Is to dance with the tiger
And laugh at the rain

If you ask a preschooler the difference between a tiger and a lion, the answer is always a tiger has orange and black stripes.   The markings on their forehead are thought to resemble the Chinese character “King.”  This idea may have influenced author Jorge Lois Borge.  Borge wrote two stories about how the tiger stripes were coded messages from the divine—runic divination waiting to be read.  Zoologists would debunk these mystical ideas, firmly stating that the patterns were for camouflage.  The tiger's stripes mimic the shaded patterns of the sun coming through the trees and grasses.  Either way they are a mystical animal that walks in harmony with their environment.  The tiger is a perfect companion to Xi Wangmu.

I interpret their markings as a balance between joy and desires (orange) and grief (black).  For me, it often hard to maintain this balance.  I find myself always tilting towards the grief.  I admit, I have been trained to see the worst case scenario and this way of seeing is cheered on my inner critic.  She, most likely out of fear or wanting to protect me from future disappointments, projects the worse worse worse thing that could happen.  It is out of these moments I betray myself and don’t create.  I don’t sit and the computer, don’t knit a row, don’t color, don’t make yummy cookies, don’t…   I don’t make.

This isn’t living in balance.  It is a life walking in grief and shadow.  Orange has changed into its shadow.  It is an orange that relies on what people say and not on self-reliance.  It is taunted on by shadow black telling you, “You are unworthy.”    

Black has another meaning.  It is a mourning color recognizing death.  It is a color to be used for grounding, banishing or breaking curses.  Perhaps, the tiger’s stripes is a balance creativity and freedom (orange) by dismissing the inner critic. 

I will send off my short story again to another publication. 

Tiger Embroidery 

Artual (Art + Ritual) a phase coined by Whitney Freya 

Looking to the left, you will see that I have finished my tiger embroidery.  It was done riding in the car cross country (i.e., 3 days - USA).  

I have decided to make this creation into a pillow.  My son asked if he could have it.  It will be making it's trip back west hopefully by the end of the month.

Claiming Tiger Power

Korean Folk Art: Tiger and Magpie

"The living self has one purpose only, to come into is own fullness of being, as a tree comes into full blossom, or a bird into spring beauty, or a tiger into luster." D.H. Lawrence.



"Animal totems, like the tiger, come from the Other Side to protect us while we are away from Home." Sylvia Browne








When I was born, I received many stuffed animals.  One was an orange and black tiger.  It was given to me by my aunt who was attending University of Missouri (Mizzou).  Her school's mascot was a tiger.  According to UM history, the tiger honors a group of men (and women?) from the U.S. Civil War.  A local militia called themselves the Missouri Tigers and protected the city of Columbia, Missouri against pro-confederate forces. My stuffed tiger never appear to be terrible, angry, or ready to pounce.  Instead my tiger had a friendly smile, her tail curled up, and she was in what my son called the meatloaf position ready to take a snooze.   

In choosing a deity to study, SOF - T.A. recommended that I reflect if there were any animal patterns in my lifetime.  Throughout my life there has been tigers, bees, and blue birds often appearing.  T.A. next suggestion was to look for a deity with these animals.  When I did the search, Xi Wangmu, Grandmother of the West appeared.  Reading further, many of her symbols have appeared in my life.


Xi Wangmu is considered one of the oldest Goddess in China.  She lives in the Kunlun mountains in a garden.  She is known for her peaches that she grows.  One of the animals Xi Wangmu has been associated with is a tiger in ancient text.  She is shown as both a mother tigress with her cubs and a tigress with sharp claws and teeth.  The tiger becomes a metaphor of who she is.  Xi Wangmu is a Goddess holding balance and able to: create or destroy, promote disease or healing, foster life or death.    





The Jungle by Helena Perez Garcia 

A Dying Tiger -- moaned for a Drink.
Emily Dickinson (1863)

A Dying Tiger — moaned for Drink —
I hunted all the Sand —
I caught the Dripping of a Rock
And bore it in my Hand —

His Mighty Balls — in death were thick —
But searching — I could see
A Vision on the Retina
Of Water — and of me —

‘Twas not my blame — who sped too slow —
‘Twas not his blame — who died
While I was reaching him —
But ’twas — the fact that He was dead —


To be associated with a tiger is a good thing.  I see tigers as tough, brave, and courageous, but in a balanced way.  Yes, they can throw their weight around (500 lbs.), but they do it with grace and necessity.  They don't stockpile for the apocalypse.  They take what they need.  Tigers appear to live from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.  To me, they approach life much differently than humans who are always needing more things.

I also see tigers as having patience by waiting for the best meal or the best catch.  They stalk out their meal by moving around and getting a better perspective.  They seem to do this same behavior when looking for the best shady place to take a snooze.  I don't see tigers having an inner critic or having self doubt or self judgment.  If things don't work out they pick themselves up and try again or move on to the next place.


Artual (Art + Ritual: a phrase coined by Whitney Freya)          

As I suggested in last week's post.  This year, I will continue to emphasize creating things with my hands.  I googled ideas and really liked Jessica Marquez's "Satin Stitch Nepali Tiger Pillow."


I've made changes to Marquez's pattern.  1) I painted the tiger onto a piece of natural linen.  (A piece of fabric saved for a rainy day.)  2) I like orange tigers.  Thus, I used an bright orange acrylic paint from the craft area in Target.       


It took me about an hour to paint the tiger and another hour to dry before I got out my iron.

I expect that your tiger will look different from mine.  You are a different artist than me.  I also encourage you as your stitching to not think: "When am I going to get this thing done!!!!"  Rather let the stitches be a meditation on how you can be more tiger-like in your approach to life.