Woman with the Flowers in Her Hair

Homelight, The Woman with the Flowers
in Her Hair. 2019

One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” 
~~Joan of Arc

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it
~~Oprah Winfrey

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~~Maya Angelou

“bloom/beautifully/dangerously/loudly/bloom softly/however you need/just bloom” ~~Rupi Kaur



Conform or be transformed?

I recently came across several articles about these two words: conform or be transformed. The gist of the articles was that many of us measure joy and happiness on how much stuff we have.  The articles described the external variables we use in measuring happiness:  our job, the car we drive, or where we live, how we look and dress.   There is a toll in believing these are the key ingredients for happiness.  When I find myself under stress I begin to conform to these computations.  I forget that happiness and joy comes from within.  

There is another variable that lurks and influences how I get stuck.  The damn mirror and bullies and naysayers don't like the facets that make me who I am.  My inner critic is addicted to their messages and repeats them in my head.  Out of fear or having anxiety, I push away my uniqueness...my way of making chocolate cakes or gardening or choosing black versus the bright colors my real self likes to wear.  I feel bad for trying to fit into a "dictated mold" and I feel bad that I have conformed.  Ultimately, I sit and stew that I am sacrificing who I am to feel prescribed happiness and joy.   

~~~

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles." New York, NYHarpersOne, 1992. 

Note: The quote, “Our Deepest Fear” often is quoted as being part of Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech, "Our Deepest Fear" does not appear in the speech. Marianne Williamson herself has noted this mistaken attribution.

~~

My recent painting, "The Woman With the Flowers in Her Hair," I dedicated it to a quest for happiness and joy in my life.  While I painted I reflected:  Why don't I welcome my own style?  Why am I unsure about what I really like or don't like? Why is it easier for TV and the magazines to inform me?  

I began searching for what it really feel to be happy? (Not what my family or friends feel happiness is, but me.)  I landed on this song by the Cowsills:  The Woman with the Flowers in her Hair or The Rain, The Park and Other Things.  For those not familiar.  It was a sunshine pop song of 1967 by a family band (reminding me of the Partridge Family Show).  

The lyrics talk about a woman wearing flowers in her hair and is in the park.  It takes courage to pull this look off and then to have the confidence to go out into a public space.  Listening to the song, while painting; I began to wonder what happened to my courage.  Why am I allowing people to dictate my journey?  My journey?