Big Dipper: a vessel needing filled up

Little Dipper by Mira Scott, buy see her paintings

“Our body is a sacred temple/A place to connect with people./As we aren't staying any younger/ We might as well keep it stronger.” ― Ana Claudia Antunes, The Tao of Physical and Spiritual  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9351609-the-tao-of-physical-and-spiritual

“Your body is home for your breath, your mind, your soul—how can you treat it like the sacred container that it is.”— Kristin Diversi  https://wanderlust.com/journal/author/kristindiversi/

“This is the time of the great weaving of women…To get her deepest truths, a woman doesn’t ascend but rather descends.  This is why she has feared herself where both her yes and her no, her strength and vulnerability create conditions for her whole self to be both leveled and raised up simultaneously as a vessel of the fiercest feminine power imagined. – Alisa Starkweather

  

In Max Dushu’s article about Xi Wangmu, she describes how the goddess gains her power from the dipper stars.   I’ve been contemplating this idea this week; what if this is a metaphor?  

A dipper is a ladle or a scoop by definition.  It could also be define as a vessel or container to carry a solid or liquid.  In this discussion, I'm talking about Xi Wangmu’s power.  And, what if the dipper was within Xi Wangmu?  Thus the dipper stars are there to remind us where she gets her power: within.  Maybe the dipper stars remind her to take time and refuel this power?  

My body is considered a sacred vessel and it too holds my power.  But, unlike Xi Wangmu, I don’t take enough time to refuel.  I give and give—depleting my energy.   And, if I do refuel it -- most often it is with junk.  Junk being: candy, reading a no think novel, or binge watching tv.   

~~~

blessing the boats

By Lucille Clifton (1936-2010)

(at St. Mary’s)

my the tide

that is entering even now

the lip of our understanding

carry you out

beyond the face of fear

may you kiss

the wind then turn from it

certain that it will

love your back     may you

open your eyes to water

water waving forever

and may you in your innocence

sail through this to that

```

Girl at Duck Pond, Paula Modersohn-Becker
See it at Museaum Belvedere

As you know, it’s that time of year again.  LENT.  LENT: 40 days of being solemn and reflecting and giving up to make space for the divine moments.    The word originates from Anglo-Saxon Lenten, meaning “spring.” or getting ready for spring.  This year, as in the past I will not be giving up, but bringing in.  I will be continuing a Lenten Season based on Candice Benbow’s article of how women already give-up.  

This past year, my sacred vessel doesn’t need to be emptied any more.  Turning it up-side-down, there isn’t much left.  I’ve worried about my son’s health issues, coped with my own health issues that haven’t gone away, worried about my dad’s health, worried about my friend who is homeless, worried about finances with a child in college, worried about yet another job responsibility added to my overflowing plate, worried about the working conditions of my job…worried about…  Then there are the worries from outside my home and are from my community and my country.  Each worry has taken a drink from my sacred vessel.  The D*** news gets worse each day. On the day of love (Valentine's Day), marked with tragedy. 

Friday, I cried at the computer.  My origami stars next to my desk reminded of my words I wrote on them.  Strong words.  Inspired, I choose one word to fill-up my vessel during Lent.  Spontaneous laughter.   

I promised to laugh – belly laugh—the kind that causes tears to run down my cheek and leg. 

ARTUAL (Art + Ritual)

This week I am working on those projects that have a little bit to go.  One is a tie quilt that needs its binding sewn and the other a pullover sweater that I knitted (I’m changing it into a cardigan).  Both have been drinking from the vessel by not being completed. 

Now is the time. 

Your quest – find those creative projects that you haven’t completed.  Do it now.  

Update: 2/19/2018:  Finished up a tie quilt by asking C over for an afternoon craft day.  Then watched a funny movie on Hulu.

Update: 2/21/2018:  I laughed at the Black Panther.  It was because of my age and the jokes were related to my experiences as an older woman.  Most of the audience didn't know Grace Jones.  (Link to her singing Slave to the Rhythm)

What brings me joy? Lenten Journey 2017

Erzulie's Arsenal by Renee Stout. 2013
mix media wood.  Haley Institute of Contemporary Art

"Let us dance in the sun, wearing flowers in our hair." 
~ Susan Polis Schulz. 

“There are random moments - tossing a salad, coming up the driveway to the house, ironing the seams flat on a quilt square, standing at the kitchen window and looking out at the delphiniums, hearing a burst of laughter from one of my children's rooms - when I feel a wavelike rush of joy. This is my true religion: arbitrary moments of of nearly painful happiness for a life I feel privileged to lead.” ~  Elizabeth Berg, The Art of Mending



Lent is here and spring is right around the bend.  I can feel the sharp winter winds at my back and the warmth of spring rains on my face.  The trees are beginning to bud up and the birds are back (earlier than usual). 

As you are aware, I look at the Lenten season differently.  Lent is not about giving up.  It is about creating sacred space for reflection and for putting my life in order.  Okay, giving-up things that are barriers between MotherFather Spirit and me.  This space gives me time to face these barriers straight on.  A good Spring Cleaning of my soul. 

This past week I read this great blog by writer Candice Benbow.  Benbow poses the following questions she intends to reflect on during Lent: "What makes you feel alive? What brings you joy? How do you need to be reminded that God wants you to flourish? Might I suggest answering these questions and leaning into some of the answers over the next 40 days."  

I have reflected on many questions, but joy, not so much. What does it mean to have joy as a woman?  I plan on exploring these questions too and I invite you to come with me on my springing into spring journey.


Beethoven Symphony 9, IV Movement "Ode to Joy"

 

Exercise: What Brings Me Joy? 
Over the next 5 days write a list using free writing for 10 minutes.  Whatever comes to your head, write it down.  Write whatever needs to be written.  Just keep it moving.  (Below is my daily writing.  Note your ideas will be different.


What brings me joy? I like going to a movie. Going to foreign films to learn about different cultures - traveling two hours to another place for $8 - $10.  Meditation. Yoga. Singing. Running. Going up stairs and not getting winded. Driving with the window down and feeling the wind go through my fingers.  Forgetting the ill and pains of the world one moment. Green grass. Sitting on the beach and listening to the waves. Listening to the birds in the morning. The beginning sun change in February.  A candle with a faint scent of bergamot flickering on my table as I write.
This brings me joy.
A tiny baby reaching out. Eating with my entire family--surrounded. Just listening to stories like how my uncle had a gas station and how famous people came to it driving from Detroit or Chicago to Cleveland. Chicken farm stories.  Painting. Sewing. Knitting.  My friends - even when I'm not so great of a friend.
What brings me joy?
I like running and the after run feeling. I like to escape into the land of reading.  I like gardening. I like sewing. I like writing. I like eating.  I like cooking.  I like hiking.  I like having a clean home.  I like dancing. I like the arts.  I like doing things with my hands.  I like creating.  Lighting a candle. A sunbeam. Seeing my cats sit and snooze in the sunbeam.  The sun through leaves and seeing the veins and the lightening of the leaves.  Red and blue glass and holding a piece of pink quartz and feeling it vibrate.  Watching my cat wash her face the way the sun lightens her black coat. Sunny cloudless blue sky days. Forsythia bending in spring winds.  Almond croissants full of butter and crispy. Crunchy popcorn.  Chocolate mint ice cream.  Smell of spring.
This is what brings me joy.
Morning quietness.  PBS.  Dancing and twirling.  Walking long distance.  Dinner.  Good egg breakfast.  Traveling. Prague. Glastonbury. Luca. Frankfort. Kyoto. Picasso.  Dali. Art museums. Painting with oils and feeling the smoothness of the brush across the canvas. Having my toes painted.  
These things give me joy...
Flamenco, science, mysteries, finishing up a creative project, guitar, piano - Beethoven, Chopin, listening to music, flowers, growing things from seeds, learning something new, Z, T, my cats, my family, my friends, 
Joy Joy Joy
A rainy day for reading, freedom to travel, freedom to become what I want to become, my house, my bed, my sofa, my computer when it is happy and moving face, ocean, SOF, my writing group, Lake Erie and watching a storm come in. Things run smoothly like butter cream frosting. Pie.  Coconut Cream Pie made with coconut milk.  Chocolate.   Tres Leche Cake.  Baking my Aunt Sue's cardamom bread.  Dancing with friends.  Lunch and a good book.  Lunch with girlfriends.  Out with girlfriends.

Eostre, Spring Equinox, Lent and the International Day of Happiness

Week 4 Lenten Project

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” Rumi

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” Marianne Williamson

Yesterday morning, I drew “flexibility” from the Angel Cards.  The first thing that came to my mind was doing a back bend.  I haven’t done a back bend since I was 13, and that was… hmmm a long time ago.  But, the thought of doing a back bend has been on my mind.  It was one of the things I put down in my new year’s resolution.  Why?  Back bending was an item that came into my head when I was meditating on the wishes of my heart in 2015.  Crazy?  Crazy.

Mohamad Gandhi stated that happiness occurs when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.  I believe that in order for this to happen you need to be flexible.  Yesterday, my interactions with others left me with wanting to pound my head against the wall.  I wanted a project that I've been working on for six months to be done and off my desk.  However, others didn't think the same way. They wanted one more thing changed and discussed.  
After a lot of deep breathing, the only thing I could do was find humor in the situation.  I don't know if this is true for others, but it is difficult to see in the moment.     

Icing on the cake came in an e-mail my supervisor and I received on a Friday afternoon.  It was at this point I decided what I needed to do was a back bend.  Back bend modified that is.  I don't know what made me do it, but there I was bending my my body backwards over an office chair without arms or wheels.  The blood quickly rushed to my head.  I definitely saw things from a different perspective; my office space up-side-down and the ceiling.  And, it caused my supervisor and I to laugh.  The whole day we needed to just laugh.  

I think this is what spring is all about.  It is a time to step back and just laugh.  How can one not laugh, especially if you survived record level snows and polar vortex wind chills.   The yellow crocuses out in my garden they are laughing; they survived the winter months.  I think this is what Marianne Williamson meant in trying to recognize how things really are in the big picture - joyful.

***

Middle English lente springtime, Lent, from Old English lencten; akin to Old High German lenzin spring

***

Spring is like a perhaps hand

E. E. Cummings, 1894 - 1962

          III

Spring is like a perhaps hand

(which comes carefully

out of Nowhere) arranging

a window, into which people look (while

people stare

arranging and changing placing

carefully there a strange

thing and a known thing here) and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps

Hand in a window

(carefully to

and fro moving New and

Old things, while

people stare carefully

moving a perhaps

fraction of flower here placing

an inch of air there) and

without breaking anything.

Spinning back into my heart’s song - Lent 2015

2015 BEMS First Week of Lent

“It is only with the heart that you can see fully: what is essential is invisible to the eyes.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller

“Whosesoever you go, go with all your heart.” ~ Confucius


Sometimes I find it hard to remember the language of my heart.  My ears get filled with wax and I can’t hear my unique lyrics that I’m supposed to be singing into the universal song.  When this happens, I find myself being swept away by social injustices, and instead of trying to find peaceful resolution or trying to be empathetic towards the other side’s point of view; I’m angry.  The lyrics I sing clash with the ones I’m supposed to be singing about love.

It is Lenten season again.   I gave ‘giving up’ a long time ago.  I found this practice not useful in redirecting my heart down the right path.  For me, Easter and Spring are about re-birth, composting the old into something new.  Giving up chocolate, turning off the TV or becoming a vegetarian doesn’t seem to affect how I react to life’s crises or challenges.  This type of practice doesn’t unplug the wax in my ears and it sure doesn’t help me hear Motherfather Spirit any better.

This Lenten season (2015) I have chosen to get back to knowing those words on my heart.  The ones Motherfather Spirit wrote before I was born.  I want to remember those words that are to inspire me in become a better person through my actions.  Those words that make me empathetic towards others and those words that sing what is really important.   I want to get my heart back on track.  This is the re-birth I am looking for. 

I’ve been inspired this year three groups 1) Wild Woman Project – Wild Heart Wishes Meditation (February 2015) 2) Abby of the Arts - Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks, and 3) Findhorn Inspiration website.

Serenity (O Magnum Mysterium) - Ola Gjeilo - this music makes me very contemplative.  

Spinning back into my heart’s song: A daily ritual during Lent:


Materials Needed:

• Paper with a spiral design or you can make your own. 
• 40 plus Premade circles.  I made mine tracing quarters onto paper.  You can make yours bigger or smaller. 
• Magic markers, pencils, ink pens
• Glue or paste
• Scissors
• Small votive candle
• Angel cards or Findhorn Daily Inspiration that includes an Angle Card or opening spiritual writing and identifying on word describing its message.
• Journal

2015 BEMS - Openness

Directions

• Light the candle and open your heart.
• Pull an angle card and read it.  Say the word out loud.  Write down in your journal what you think this word means spiritually or why it should be written on your heart.
• Next, read the word again.  Say the word out loud.   Ask for guidance from Motherfather Spirit.  Meditate on the word.  Example: Open   These are the types of questions I ask myself: 1) What does being open mean to me as a spiritual being?  How do I show others that I’m open?   How do I react to hearing something new – open or closed?  (NOTE:  The CCWWW way is different for each of us.  You have equally interesting questions to ask yourself.)  Allow some time to journal on this word. 
• Contemplate what the word means to you in a symbol.  Doodle or draw in your journal.
• Now, reflecting back on your journal, draw or write something that will remind you of this word in one of the pre-made circles.  Color it in.  (NOTE:  A CCWWW doesn’t judge their art against famous artists. This is a spiritual art and speaks from your heart.)
• Cut out the circle and paste it on the spiral path.
• Thank Motherfather Spirit for giving you this message about your heart.  Extinguish the candle. 
• I tend to do this ritual in the morning and carry the small circle around.  The circle reminds me of the word that is etched on my heart.  In the evening I glue it onto the spiral. 

Fish Fries – Lenten Journey 2013

BEMS@2013

I’ve been a little parched and in need of some nice gentle rain – Hildegard speak.  Despite the crisis at work, my family and I have journeyed off to two more Lenten fish fries.  I’ve sought out nourishment for my body but also boost for my spirit.  I’m going to a church event right?

The original intent for eating fish during Lent was about fasting from the flesh of meat.  This is done in memory of Christ.  But, what is the real purpose of these fish fries?  Keep the fishy smell out of your house?  According to the Knights of Columbus, it is a way to bring families together and provide a social for parishioners.  To me this could be viewed as another way of saying party?  Yes, I know the Lenten season is all about self-reflecting on our dark areas.  Having a party could be perceived as not conducting ourselves in the right spirit of Lent.  Or is it? 

My church has been studying Luke. If you don’t know much about this guy, long story short, it is believed that he was an Antiochian Doctor.  He is accredited for writing his Gospel (Luke) and Acts and followed Paul on several trips.  His body parts, like many of the saints are stored in several locations throughout the world.   Despite this, what strikes me about Dr. Luke's writings is 1) he was a man who was a great story teller and 2) he was all about having a party. 

Dr. Luke’s stories, the Lost Coin and the Lost Son, both end with a party.  The story is an analogy about one having lost their connection to the Divine.  When they find their way back, Motherfather Spirit throws this blow out party.  I’ve been wondering – couldn’t a fish fry during Lent be an occasion to throw a party. This party’s purpose would be to uplift the spirit for those of us who are lost, confused, hurt, sad, stressed (name your emotion) and who have found their way back to Motherfather Spirit.  The party would be welcoming and joyful time to give to others. 

Okay just a thought. 

~#~

A Jewish Blessing

Mi-sheberakh avoteinu v’imoteinu, Avraham v’Sarah, Yitzhak v’Rivkah, Ya’akov, Rachel v’Leah hu y’varekh et (insert names here) v’yavi aleihem refuat hanefesh u’refuat haguf yachad im kol cholei amo Yisrael. Barukh atah Hashem, rofeh ha’cholim.

May the One who was a source of blessing for our ancestors, bring blessings of healing upon (insert names here), a healing of body and a healing of spirit. May those in whose care they are entrusted be gifted with wisdom and skill, and those who surround them be gifted with love and trust, openness and support in their care. And may they be healed along with all those who are in need. Blessed are You, Source of healing.

~#~

BEMS@2013

Last Friday, 2/22 T and I went to 71916.  This appears to be a much smaller congregation that 18151222 and run by the Knights of Columbus members.  The men showed a friendly comradely.  71916 is a very basic fish fry: fried fish, coleslaw, mac and cheese, and a wide assortment of fries (i.e., regular, pepper and cheesy) or bake potato.  The coleslaw was definitely better than 18151222.  The fish had more of a beer batter and was a little oily to my taste.  T felt that the mac and cheese was a little soggy.  We accredited this to being one of the last customers.   Dessert?  Texas Sheet Cake.  The frosting was melted into the moist cake.  I immediately thought of my mother-in-law’s cake.      

The highlight of the evening was being invited into the sanctuary.  I’ve never have explored for Wow sites in Columbus, but here it was.  The door open and you could feel the energy across your face.  T pulled me back and asked if I felt it.  I wanted to stay, but we needed to pick up Z.

BEMS@2013

At 7193, they’ve changed things up.  Instead of a fish fry, this congregation holds an all you can eat pasta “fry.”  Z had been anticipating this “fry” by not eating anything after school in order to have room to go for seconds.  He told me it was to get his money’s worth.  They served baked Ziti with a mild tomato sauce, bow-tie Alfredo, Mac and Cheese, green beans with onion, salad and bread.  Everything was very tasty and carbo rich.  The dessert table was filled with baked goods.  The lady wearing a green apron labeled “women’s circle” told me they were from the best cooks in the county.  T chose a cherry pie and I had a chocolate marbled cake with chocolate butter cream.  Yum.      

Out of the three churches, I’d have to say this had the most “party like” feel.  People were more willing to say hello and talk to you.  Maybe it was how the tables were arranged: long close rows where you couldn’t help but bump into people. 

~#~

 “The great sea ...”

By Uvavnuk Uvavnuk
Translated By Jane Hirshfield

The great sea

frees me, moves me,
as a strong river carries a weed.
Earth and her strong winds
move me, take me away,
and my soul is swept up in joy.

Viriditas Fish Fry Friday - Lenten Journey 2013

Practice hospitality.  Romans 12: 13

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.  Hebrews 13:2

Opus Verbi viriditas / The work of the Word is greenness ~ Hildegard of Bingen

My family and I went to our first fish fry of the Lenten season at 18151222* here in Columbus.  It was a chilly evening and snow was beginning to fall when we pulled into a relatively full parking lot.  After paying the three friendly women at the door, we walked into their new dining hall.  I felt like I had “Non Catholic” stamped on my forehead.  Reality, I didn’t get that warm and cozy feeling like I’m used to when I visit other churches’ functions or that I’ve experienced here before.  I kept looking around for the church lady or church guy who notices that we’re not part of the “regulars” and swoops in for a big hello; glad you could join us; and you should come to worship with us on Sunday.  Instead, I felt like I was at any other restaurants in Columbus on a Friday night.

There were lots of choices at this fish fry: salad or coleslaw, fish or pizza, bake potato, rice pilaf or fries.  The serving size was healthy.  I had the coleslaw, fish and bake potato.  The fresh perch tasted wonderful.  It was lightly breaded, fried and very tender on the inside.  The coleslaw, I couldn’t get what the secret ingredient was – fresh onion and?  The “and” didn’t work for me.  We talked to the family across from us.  The coleslaw wasn’t working for them either.  T had the rice pilaf and he said it was very good.  Z told me the steak fries were “steak fries” and added “awkward sounds come from the tartar squirt bottle.”  He demonstrated. 

Homemade desserts - Yum.  This really says it all.  There is nothing like going to a church function and getting a tasty goodie made from someone’s oven.  I had a classic Lemon Bundt Cake.  Each bite was filled with a sunny lemony goodness.  The cake was light and moist inside a crunchy exterior.  Both T and Z said they picked well too.

~#~

“Hosts need to feel at home in their own houses, creating free and fearless places for unexpected visitors.  Hospitality is the ability to pay attention to guests (concentration) and create an empty space where the guests can find their own souls (community).  For Nouwen this is real healing ministry because it takes away the illusion that wholeness can simply be given by one to another.  It does not remove the loneliness and pain of the other but invites them to recognize their loneliness on a level where it can be shared.” ~  Michael Ford, Wounded Prophet

~#~

The family across from us left and a woman in a turquoise fish T-shirt began cleaning the table.  She was very nice and friendly.  She was what I’d expected coming into this spiritual setting.  Wiping down the table, she began telling us the history of this 50 year fish fry.  She pointed to two little girls playing behind us.  “It was started by their great grandfathers.”  Apparently, they were fishing up at Lake Erie and came up with the idea.  She knew that it was fresh perch, soaked in milk and breaded with secret ingredients.  She told us about when the fish fry was down in the church basement.  It was cozy and a little cramp.  We told her we’d eaten here before in the basement.  I remember the spirit present there   in that intimate space that drew people together.

I began to wonder if the newness of this space influenced the “guest like” vs. “home like” feeling.  Hildegard draws us to look greenness; perhaps in this space, the spirit is a tender shoot just poking up above the ground.  The gardeners may not be used to this space and maybe a little intimidated by its vastness.   It just needs some water and care to get that feeling going here. 

~#~

During my Lenten journey, I’m called to look at guest like places.  I speak of my emotions and ideas that I’ve hidden behind doors refusing to weed, water and nurture.  These have become dried places that aren’t hospitable to me or anyone.  It’s Lent and I’m once again called to drag out the gardening hoe to mix in compose with that drought like soil.  My Lenten journey also calls me to begin to dismantle how I distance myself from others or how I make them feel excluded from the table filled with all the fixings.  It encourages the “Viriditas” spirit of welcome within me by looking into the eyes and hospitality of a stranger.  Lent calls me to green up spaces in my life as John O’Donohue says “smiles like flowers on the altar of the heart.”

* Note: In keeping with Hildegard's greening - I've created a code for the church.

CCWWW 2013 Lenten Walk

Illumination from the Liber Scivias
showing Hildegard receiving a vision
and dictating to her scribe and secretary

The Origin of Fire - Music and Visions of Hildegard of Bingen sung by Anonymous 4

Today a closed portal has been opened ~ Hildegard of Bingen

“I am the fiery life of the essence of God; I am the flame above the beauty in the fields; I shine in the waters; I burn in the sun, the moon, and the stars.  And with the airy wind, I quicken all things vitally by an unseen, all-sustaining life.  For the air is alive in the verdure and the flowers; the waters flow as if they lived; the sun too lives in its light; and when the moon wanes it is rekindled by the light of the sun, as if it lived anew: Even the stars glisten in their light as if alive.” ~ Hildegard of Bingen, translated by Barbara Newman, Sister of Wisdom (69-70).

This past January I was exploring walking mediations and stumbled upon a Lenten on-line retreat.  The invitation had two key words for me: artists and Hildegard of Bingen.    If people aren’t familiar with this woman, she lived during the 11<sup>th</sup> Century.  She was a German Christian mystic, herbalist, feminist, writer, composer, philosopher, Benedictine abbess, visionary, and polymath.  Hildegard had moxie.  She would be someone to aspire to be.

In 2012, Hildegard was given sainthood.  Somehow this doesn’t sit right – after all these years?  It feels like one of Christ’s stories about the rich giving from their richness, in this case it has to do with power.  I feel like Hildegard’s nod to formalized sainthood is a way to divert my attention away from the real issues: the treatment of the American Catholic nuns, the child sexual abuse by clergy… 

I see my Lenten journey this year becoming an extended Imbolic over the course of 40 days.  My Lent is about opening doors that have been blocked by clutter.  It's a time to not be distracted away from the real issues  - the glittery stuff that comes from modern living.  This is what blocks the entrances to my heart.  Lent to me isn't about depriving.  No, it is about being silent, observing and listening.  It is a time to examine my heart to identify where I’m blocked and out of balance with love and humility.  Lent is about opening the  doors to closed portals.  Airing things out and getting ready.  Lent is hard mindful work. 

One of my favorite books growing up was A Secret Garden by Francis Hodgson Burnett.  In the story we learn that the walled rose garden was locked following the death of Mary’s Aunt.  The key was buried.  Like many in the household, people are hurt, angry or grieving.  Mary’s healing adventure begins when she sets her intent on finding the key.  Her journey reveals the things that block her heart from love and friendship.  Mary isn't afraid of hard work. 

When I think of that garden door, I also think of the Hebrew letter found on the Empress Card.  The door shaped card allows me to peer in.  I find the pregnant Empress sitting in a golden wheat meadow with a lush forest behind her.  People have told me this card represents both the subconscious and the creative.  She holds the seeds for inventiveness.  For me, anyone who has a creative imagination is able to magically enter another world - think about stepping over the threshold of a book.  It’s a door that can provide you with fresh opportunities, a clean slate or perhaps allows you a new way on how to do something.  Her kind face welcomes me in.       

This Lent I plan on pulling away some boxes, push away the cobwebs so that I may insert the tarnished key into this forgotten door.  It's the one that has been blocked with many excuses.  She sits behind it calling me.

Lenten Poem

I went to a women's spiritual retreat two weekends ago.  Rev C shared one of her favorite books from seminary:  Women's Uncommon Prayers. One of the prayers for Lent spoke to me - it seemed to describe my journey to a T.  


Lent: The Mind's Extremity
by Ms. Rosamond Rosenmeier (July 4, 1928 - Dec. 29, 2011)


Into this late winter time
Lent erupts its Wednesday ash;
black dust darkens our sky.
Return. Return.


Lent leads us down to buried time,
down the mountain
onto a fenceless plain,
a dry savanna where all demons wait.
Lent's unwilled free-fall
plummets us through remorse
and clotted dreams,
into the scarred haunts of hurt,
blame, damage, loss.
We are released into ourselves, alone.


Lent returns us into depths
deeper than the dead are deep
where we come into openness: two crows
on the branch of a single tree-
black carrion birds,
guardians of a slate gray sky.


A cold lightning arcs down
into silence and dim light.
Moment by fearless moment
its sharp pulse flashes
in terror and prayer to the breath's end-
in dust we are returned
to a place where no secrets are hid.


Here the Spirit's slow alchemy
melts every easy expectation,
and a final expanse opens
its felt presence
to the edge of visibility.
We are returned to the rim
to look ourward toward the cusp
of a new place.


Geitz, E.R., Burke. M.A., Smith, A., Bennett, D.Q., McCormick, K., Sukraw, T.J. Women's Book of Uncommon Prayers: Our Lives Revealed, Nurtured, Celebrated. Harrisburg, PA, Morehouse Publishing. 2000

More on my Lenten Walk to find Peace as a Celtic Christian Wise Witchy Woman

“You cannot hope to create peace and harmony in the world until you have found peace and harmony within. You have to start with yourself. You have to start in a small way and let it grow and expand. A mighty oak tree has its beginnings in a tiny acorn, and yet within that tiny acorn it contains everything. You contain the peace of the world within you, so why not let it grow and expand within until it no longer can be contained and bursts forth, bringing peace and harmony into the world? It starts within you, so be consciously aware of the vitally important part which you have to play to help bring peace and harmony into the world. Never stand back and blame anyone else for the state of the world, but get into action and do something about it yourself. Now, be at perfect peace as you do My will and walk in My ways, glorifying Me.”  Eileen Cady – Findhorn

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I was reflecting more about my Lenten walk.  What I came up with is the hero’s journey – when the hero faces his/her greatest fears and challenges.  Everything is exposed to the Motherfather Spirit – the good, bad and ugly of his life.  How will the hero resolve this?  Another thought, my Lenten journey could be comparable to a trip into the Underworld in Greek mythology and coming back changed for the good – Maybe a Persephone type of tale.   Or encounter with La Loba or Baba Yaga, told by Clarissa Pinkola Estes  in She Who Runs With Wolves – The wolf woman or Baba Yaga knows my soul and picks through the gunk to find the treasures I have lost or buried. 

Buddhist Prayer for Peace. 

“May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses.   May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another. May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wildernesses – the children, the aged, and the unprotected – be guarded by beneficent celestials, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.”  (Reproduced from Peace Abby)