Women's Sports Coverage: Abby Wambach

Wambach warming up for an
international friendly match against
Canada, September 2011 HM Larson

“You might find yourself holding a baby instead of a briefcase and fearing that your colleagues are “getting ahead” and leaving you behind. Here’s what’s important: You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life’s benched you. What you aren’t allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench. If you’re not a leader on the bench, don’t call yourself a leader on the field. You’re either a leader everywhere or nowhere.”
― Abby Wambach, WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power and Change the Game

“You see, soccer didn’t make me who I am. I brought who I am to soccer, and I get to bring who I am wherever I go. So do you.” ― Abby Wambach, WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game

“Leadership is taking care of yourself and empowering others to do the same. Leadership is not a position to earn, it’s an inherent power to claim. Leadership is the blood that runs through your veins—it’s born in you. It’s not the privilege of a few, it is the right and responsibility of all. Leader is not a title that the world gives to you—it’s an offering that you give to the world.” ― Abby Wambach, WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game


The Norwegian Cruise Ship the Pearl has thirteen bars and lounges. Most of them have flat screen TVs that broadcast sporting events. I would walk pass these areas on my way to music concerts. What I began to notice the sports coverage was either men’s basketball (college and NBA), soccer, or golf. This was very interesting on a ship with a 95% population of women. Especially, when women’s college basketball tournament was at its height and the women’s pre-world cup soccer friendlies were happening around the world.

Abby Wambach: Barnard Commencement 2018

The year Abby Wambach was born was my last year of play N.O.S.O. soccer. I had played girls club soccer starting in the mid-seventies. When I entered high school, the number of girls participating dropped and it became harder to have a league. Girls at my high school had varsity sports to choose from and or held jobs to save money for college. Soccer at my high school was a boys only sport. It wouldn't become a varsity sport until eight years later.

I was a half-back or now would be called a midfielder. I was the player who was in between the forwards and the fullbacks; and I did go after the ball. Soccer was a game where I could be aggressive by being willing to fight for the ball and send it to the forward to assist with goals. Those were in the days without shin guards.

When I learned to play soccer there were no Mia Hamms or Abby Wambachs or Hope Solos or Christen Presses. Pele was the dude everyone was talking about. On the field, we would enact his dribbling moves and goals. True at the time, not many U.S.ers understood what soccer was; but I envy the girls today who can see a woman doing cool soccer moves. They get to practice Abby Wambach’s header from the world cup against Brazil.

~~~

Being Strong

The kindest words my father spoke to me

women like you down oceans

-rupi kaur

Kaur, Rupi. Milk and Honey. Kansas City, MO: Andrew McMeel Publishing, LCC. 2015.

~~~

If you haven’t kept up with the news. The US Women’s National Soccer Team has filed a gender discrimination lawsuit against US Soccer. All 28 members of the current team are listed as plaintiffs that alleges discriminatory practices by the US’s federation, including unequal pay, training facilities, coaching, medical treatment and travel conditions.

At the same time, Abby Wambach is out on her book tour: Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash our Power and Change the Game. Abby Wambach has scored more career goals in soccer than any male or female. (NOTE: 184 goals). Her women’s leadership book is based on her Barnard commencement speech in 2018 (See above). The inspiration for the speech came from a thought after receiving the ESPY icon awards on her retirement.

Wambach received the award with retiree Kobe Bryant and retiree Peyton Manning. She was honored and grateful, but as they walked down the stage with their awards it dawned on her: these two men were walking away with a different life than her. These men had sizable retirement packages from their careers. She would have to find a “new hustle."

Women athletes are not paid equal.

The common argument is women’s soccer doesn’t make money. Men’s soccer brings in more money. This isn’t true. In 2015, the US Women’s National Soccer Team brought in 6.6 million dollars whereas the men’s team brought in 2 million.

~~~

Back on the Pearl with the 95% population of women traveling, why didn't any of the TVs cover women's sports?

Not even a princess can escape #MeToo

Photograph: Tatiana Romanov

Boasson and Eggler St. Petersburg Nevsky 24,

13 Dec. 1913

“It’s not evil which conquers evil, but love.” Tatiana Romanov

I know it has been a great while since I wrote. Writers have dry spells and wet spells; or in my case they are involved in too many projects.

I am back from a six day vacation spent on a cruise with a population of 95% women. The theme centered on kindness and women musicians and singers. The music was great and inspiring. So inspiring, I’ve contemplated getting out my son’s bass that leans against his bedroom wall and learning how to play it.

Being on a cruise with a large population of women, I had dreamed of escaping prominent social norms that tell me how I am supposed to behave as a middle class woman who could afford to be on this trip. I was hoping to turn off my day job, but terrible social norms are hard to toss off the boat. There are many competing norms to consider and I hope to write about these the upcoming months.

###

Painting from Norwegian Pearl Summer Palace Dining Room
Tatiana Romanov and Earnest Hesse, Grand Duke Hesse taken
by Homelight April 2019

Regal environments and celebrities reinforce seem to capture our attention. Some of us have been taught to desire this lifestyle. According to Dr. Frank Farley, a professor and psychologist at Temple University and a former American Psychology Association president, “We all have dreams of wealth and fame and happiness and style and social influence and so on, which starts early with fairy tales and the way we raise our kids.” Even if we don’t chose to live this way this belief is subconsciously present. Farley adds, “[These dreams] stay with us, to some extent, throughout our lives. Royals and other people, like Hollywood figures and Kardashian types keep this phenomenon alive.”

On deck six of the Norwegian Pearl, is the Summer Palace Dining Room. The decor was inspired by Russian Palaces. It features red, green, and gold colors, marbled columns and high windows that look out over the waters. The paintings that line the walls depict the Romanov family before their forced imprisonment and assassination. Many of the paintings are colorized reproductions from familiar black and white photographs of the young royalty. The food is served on china on top of white table linen. One can feel regal eating from a daily changing three course menu.

Yet one painting caught my eye and made me feel yucky (see above). The painting is of Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna of Russia. The paintings tag stated she was with Ernest Hesse, Grand Duke of Hesse. Why was this man holding her arms this way? Why did he have his legs crossed around her? And, he was an older man. (I know today’s standards.)  There was nothing beyond the tag to put the painting into perspective.

After the cruise, I discovered Ernest Hesse was a beloved Uncle. This didn’t make the picture feel any better especially when there were other photographs of Uncle Ernie with the children the painter could have chosen from.

Tatiana was known to be the most organized and self assured of her sisters. During World War I, she was trained as a Russian Red Cross nurse. She was thought to be an efficient surgical nurse and tended to wounded officers at a hospital. Additionally, she organized a committee to help refugee from the war while continuing her nursing duties. When the family was imprisoned, Tatiana’s father would send her as a spokesperson to their guards. The painting doesn’t depict this story 

Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna
wearing a Red Cross nursing uniform
and Dmitri Yakovlevich Malama

of who Tatiana was.

Perhaps the painting is asking viewers to dig deeper into Tatiana’s life.

“Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, one of the governesses for the girls, was horrified that Rasputin was permitted into the nursery while the girls were in their nightgowns. Tyutcheva wanted to barre him from the nursery. Tatiana, who was twelve at the time, feared her mother would be angered by Tyutcheva preventing him from coming into the nursery, and wrote to her about it. Even though she was soon fired, she told the story to other members of the family and they were scandalized. By all accounts, Rasputin’s visits to the children were innocent in nature. Grand Duchess Xenia Alexandrovna of Russia, Anastasia’s paternal aunt, was especially horrified.”

In Grand Duchess Xenia’s diaries, she writes that Rasputin caresses the children in the nursery, even the two pre-teen princesses.  She identifies this as inappropriate. Xenia is upset, but the children’s mother is so caught up in her grief over having a child with a medical disability -- can't hear her.   I would also argue, the Tsarina was also caught up in social norms and believed Rasputin’s behavior as a religious figure to be as acceptable. 

In either case, Tatiana did not consent or have the power to consent to this type of touch.  Going back to the painting it tells the story even a princess can’t escape an inappropriate touch.  

Resources:  

To learn more about Child Sexual Abuse Prevention and how to hold adults accountable see Darkness 2 Light.  

References:

Azur, Helen. “Tatiana Romanov. Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna of Russia.” The Romanov Family.com 18 Aug. 2015 Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 https://www.theromanovfamily.com/grand-duchess-tatiana-nikolaevna-of-russia/

Ducharme, Jamie. “Why people are obsessed with the royals, according to psychologists.” Time Magazine. 16 May 2018. Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 http://time.com/5253199/royal-obsession-psychology/

History of things. “The Grand Duchess of Russia who was Rumoured to have escaped death, Anastasia Romanov.” 27 May 2017. Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 https://historythings.com/grand-duchess-anastasia-romanov/