Not even a princess can escape #MeToo

Photograph: Tatiana Romanov

Boasson and Eggler St. Petersburg Nevsky 24,

13 Dec. 1913

“It’s not evil which conquers evil, but love.” Tatiana Romanov

I know it has been a great while since I wrote. Writers have dry spells and wet spells; or in my case they are involved in too many projects.

I am back from a six day vacation spent on a cruise with a population of 95% women. The theme centered on kindness and women musicians and singers. The music was great and inspiring. So inspiring, I’ve contemplated getting out my son’s bass that leans against his bedroom wall and learning how to play it.

Being on a cruise with a large population of women, I had dreamed of escaping prominent social norms that tell me how I am supposed to behave as a middle class woman who could afford to be on this trip. I was hoping to turn off my day job, but terrible social norms are hard to toss off the boat. There are many competing norms to consider and I hope to write about these the upcoming months.

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Painting from Norwegian Pearl Summer Palace Dining Room
Tatiana Romanov and Earnest Hesse, Grand Duke Hesse taken
by Homelight April 2019

Regal environments and celebrities reinforce seem to capture our attention. Some of us have been taught to desire this lifestyle. According to Dr. Frank Farley, a professor and psychologist at Temple University and a former American Psychology Association president, “We all have dreams of wealth and fame and happiness and style and social influence and so on, which starts early with fairy tales and the way we raise our kids.” Even if we don’t chose to live this way this belief is subconsciously present. Farley adds, “[These dreams] stay with us, to some extent, throughout our lives. Royals and other people, like Hollywood figures and Kardashian types keep this phenomenon alive.”

On deck six of the Norwegian Pearl, is the Summer Palace Dining Room. The decor was inspired by Russian Palaces. It features red, green, and gold colors, marbled columns and high windows that look out over the waters. The paintings that line the walls depict the Romanov family before their forced imprisonment and assassination. Many of the paintings are colorized reproductions from familiar black and white photographs of the young royalty. The food is served on china on top of white table linen. One can feel regal eating from a daily changing three course menu.

Yet one painting caught my eye and made me feel yucky (see above). The painting is of Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna of Russia. The paintings tag stated she was with Ernest Hesse, Grand Duke of Hesse. Why was this man holding her arms this way? Why did he have his legs crossed around her? And, he was an older man. (I know today’s standards.)  There was nothing beyond the tag to put the painting into perspective.

After the cruise, I discovered Ernest Hesse was a beloved Uncle. This didn’t make the picture feel any better especially when there were other photographs of Uncle Ernie with the children the painter could have chosen from.

Tatiana was known to be the most organized and self assured of her sisters. During World War I, she was trained as a Russian Red Cross nurse. She was thought to be an efficient surgical nurse and tended to wounded officers at a hospital. Additionally, she organized a committee to help refugee from the war while continuing her nursing duties. When the family was imprisoned, Tatiana’s father would send her as a spokesperson to their guards. The painting doesn’t depict this story 

Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna
wearing a Red Cross nursing uniform
and Dmitri Yakovlevich Malama

of who Tatiana was.

Perhaps the painting is asking viewers to dig deeper into Tatiana’s life.

“Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, one of the governesses for the girls, was horrified that Rasputin was permitted into the nursery while the girls were in their nightgowns. Tyutcheva wanted to barre him from the nursery. Tatiana, who was twelve at the time, feared her mother would be angered by Tyutcheva preventing him from coming into the nursery, and wrote to her about it. Even though she was soon fired, she told the story to other members of the family and they were scandalized. By all accounts, Rasputin’s visits to the children were innocent in nature. Grand Duchess Xenia Alexandrovna of Russia, Anastasia’s paternal aunt, was especially horrified.”

In Grand Duchess Xenia’s diaries, she writes that Rasputin caresses the children in the nursery, even the two pre-teen princesses.  She identifies this as inappropriate. Xenia is upset, but the children’s mother is so caught up in her grief over having a child with a medical disability -- can't hear her.   I would also argue, the Tsarina was also caught up in social norms and believed Rasputin’s behavior as a religious figure to be as acceptable. 

In either case, Tatiana did not consent or have the power to consent to this type of touch.  Going back to the painting it tells the story even a princess can’t escape an inappropriate touch.  

Resources:  

To learn more about Child Sexual Abuse Prevention and how to hold adults accountable see Darkness 2 Light.  

References:

Azur, Helen. “Tatiana Romanov. Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna of Russia.” The Romanov Family.com 18 Aug. 2015 Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 https://www.theromanovfamily.com/grand-duchess-tatiana-nikolaevna-of-russia/

Ducharme, Jamie. “Why people are obsessed with the royals, according to psychologists.” Time Magazine. 16 May 2018. Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 http://time.com/5253199/royal-obsession-psychology/

History of things. “The Grand Duchess of Russia who was Rumoured to have escaped death, Anastasia Romanov.” 27 May 2017. Retrieved 13 Apr. 2019 https://historythings.com/grand-duchess-anastasia-romanov/